USFIWDMNFB

A Brief Summary of The Central Intelligence Agency Theory of the John Fitzgerald Kennedy Assassination, presented by the Ultra Super Flying Irish Wristwatch Dolphin Monkey Nuke Friend Band, Consisting of Ms. Christine Elizabeth Strahan and Ms. Meagan Skylar Patton. This is the conclusive evidence we have gathered from the available resources and information. We find it to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, something the Warren Commission cannot truthfully say about their report. We hope it clears up some of the muddiness surrounding the John F. Kennedy assassination.

The Basics The CIA Oswald The Shooters What Actually Happened During the Shooting Autopsy The Warren Commision In Conclusion
 * The Central Intelligence Agency were the ones behind the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
 * Their motivation for the assassination stemmed from Kennedy's failure to send air support to the Bay of Pigs invasion and then putting most of the blame on the CIA, sacking then director of the CIA Allen Dulles for a mistake that the CIA belived was his fault. Allen Dulles later, and not coincidentally, served on the Warren Commission investigating Kennedy's death.
 * John F. Kennedy reportedly said, "In a parliamentary government, I'd have to resign. But in this government I can't, so you [Richard Bissell] and Allen [Dulles] have to go." and that he would like to "splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter it to the winds," showing he was blaming the CIA for something that was his fault.
 * Interestingly enough, the full quote is: "Something very bad is going on within the CIA and I want to know what it is. I want to shred the CIA into a thousand pieces and scatter them to the four winds."
 * The next director of the CIA, John McCone, was "fixated on nuclear warfare", so he would be angry at Kennedy's handling of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
 * Other people who were sacked for the Bay of Pigs were Deputy Director of Plans Richard Bissell and Deputy Director General Charles Cabell, whose brother Earle Cabell was the Mayor of Dallas from 1961 to 1964.
 * Another reason was Kennedy pulling his nuclear missiles out of Turkey and attempting to improve relations with Castro. The CIA could only assume he was "giving in" to the Russians.
 * The CIA had spent a lot of time and money working on Cuba, and were disappointed to see JFK do what they assumed was "throwing it away". They were afraid John F. Kennedy would do the same with Vietnam, to pull out and give up.
 * The CIA was not as incompetent then as it is now. It certainly had reason to murder the President of the United States of Aeimalanerrueciuoa, and the means to do so. They certainly tried to kill Castro; if President Kennedy was a threat to "national security", it is not too farfetched to assume they would remove him from office.
 * Oswald was one of the people shooting at John F. Kennedy.
 * However, he was not the one who killed JFK.
 * He was framed as the only shooter by the CIA, because he would seem a likely victim since he had recently defected to the Soviet Union and was a Castro sympathiser, and he was an ex-Marine familiar with riflery.
 * He was given a bad rifle compared to the CIA agents', to make sure he didn't get close to the target.
 * Oswald was bribed with the prospect of fame and glory. He didn't know he was going to be framed as the murderer of JFK until he didn't recieve backup from the CIA like was promised.
 * There were 3 shooters, including Lee Harvey Oswald.
 * Two of them were CIA shooters. One was on the Grassy Knoll, and the other was in the Texas School Book Depository in a floor under Oswald.
 * They were the ones who actually killed Kennedy.
 * Oswald shot first, around Zapruder Film Frames 150 and 169. Oswald did not hit anyone in the car. However, this was the bullet that bounced off of a curb and scraped James Tague's cheek.
 * The CIA agent in the Texas School Book Depository shot next, at around Zapruder frame 217. It hit JFK in his back, 5 3/4 inches below his shirt collar. It also wounded Governor Connally, entering around his right armpit, breaking his wrist, shattering his rib and landing in his thigh. (This was possible because of the angle Connally was sitting.)
 * Then, the CIA agent at the Grassy Knoll shot Kennedy around Zapruder frame 278. It hit him a little under his neck, where his tie knot was. This is when he starts to clutch his neck. The Dictabelt evidence investigated by the House Select Committee on Assassinations proves a 95% or higher chance of the shot being from the Grassy Knoll.
 * The CIA agent in the Texas School Book Depository then shot Kennedy in the head in the infamous Zapruder frame 313. His head goes slightly forward in the film, thus proving he was shot from the back, not the front. This shot was the one that killed him. The driver, William Greer, did not pull out a gun and shoot JFK; what is commonly called a "gun" is really a reflection off of the man's hair next to him.
 * Around Zapruder Frame 350, Jackie Kennedy sees a piece of JFK's brain on the back of the trunk. She says she doesn’t actually remember this moment and people say she was pulling the CIA agent into the car when in fact the CIA agent was pushing Jackie back into the car for safety. It’s shown in Zapruder frame 388-390 that the CIA agent was reaching for her and Jackie was not reaching for him but seemed to be getting something off the roof of the car. She later gave the doctors at Parkland a piece of Kennedy’s brain that she grabbed off the car and asked if it would help.
 * At the request of Mrs. Kennedy, John F. Kennedy received his autopsy at a naval hospital near Washington DC, since he was once a naval officer and Washington DC was his place of residence.
 * The place was Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland.
 * Legally, the autopsy and examination of anyone killed in Texas was under the sole jurisdiction of the state, and Dr. Earl Rose, Dallas County Medical Examiner, resisted slightly as the Secret Service took him there.
 * The question has been raised why the autopsy happened in a place out of the ordinary. The reason is that the CIA would have something to hide from the Dallas doctors, or those not involved in a government conspiracy.
 * Police Officer J.D. Tippit was killed by "Oswald", according to the Warren Commission. However, it has been noted that J.D. Tippit looked eerily similar to John F. Kennedy, so much so that his nickname among friends was JFK.
 * J.D. Tippit was shot in the right front temple as well as in the chest -- the same place John F. Kennedy was shot in the head.
 * This was not a coincidence. The autopsy claimed to be John F. Kennedy's was really photos of Tippit, who was murdered to hide the evidence of a shooter from the fence at the grassy knoll.
 * Features similar to Tippit's and not seen on Kennedy before are present on his autopsy, as well as a wound on his chest exactly like Tippit's.
 * More evidence is displayed on our Resources page.
 * The President's Commission on the Assassination of President Kennedy, more commonly known as the Warren Commission, was a government investigation.
 * Obviously, the CIA had a hand in it. Or two. Or all of the hands involved, actually.
 * The Warren Commission was made simply to advance their "Lone Gunman Theory" that they tried to shove down our throats, and destroyed all evidence they could that would prove otherwise.
 * The CIA killed the thirty-fifth president of the United States, Mr. John F. Kennedy.
 * Oswald was not the only shooter, there were two more CIA shooters. One was below Oswald in the TSBD, the other behind the fence in the Grassy Knoll.
 * Oswald was framed as the only shooter to clear the CIA's name.
 * JFK's autopsy photos were faked. They used the body of Dallas police officer JD Tippit to say whatever they wanted to about JFK's death.
 * The Warren Commission was made to convince the American public that Oswald was the lone shooter.